The power went out tonight for almost an hour. It was not my cup of tea seeing as it took me half the time to find candles and matches. It cam back on about half and hour ago. I was so happy to see the television pop on with a re-run of Ghost Whisper already on for my viewing pleasure. I'm listening to the new Say Anything CD. Ahh men is the current song.
I really, really, hope he'll call me already I want this over with before his one year anniversary. And yeah that's going to be really shitty if i don't move on before that.
I'm on thanksgiving break right now so I'm having a nice four day weekend. I didn't bring any books home or anything so I can't really accomplish any school work and I don't have anything due until next Friday anyway.

This is going to sound really weird... But I've been looking at wedding dresses all day well when i haven't been reading harry potter fan fiction or Big bang theory fiction too. So yeah Vera Wang has a lovely web site and so does Kleinfeilds. I don't know, I don't want to get married but I do love the fashion and beauty of the dresses. I looked at Chanel.com too and Dooney and Bourke too. I love love fashion. However you can usually find me in sweats and a t-shirt which is exactly what i have on now. My underwear is pretty fashionable tho!! lol But anyway fashion, makeup and antiques.
So like my mother in so many ways it is crazy..
Well I'm off to watch Tv

TA TA

My number ... I gave him my number to call me so we can fix all of this. However I have to wait till this weekend to actually see if he looked on my MySpace so we can finally fix all of our junk. I doubt that made any sense to any of you so quickly, very quickly i will give you the backstory.
1. I was in love
2. I was so in love i couldnt tell the person so I began writing poems for them
3. He found out and wrote me a 'lovely' rejection poem and another poem that gave me hope for our future.
4. We saw each other every day last year and that was awful since he would stand over me and demand that I talk to him again... That never happened
5. Told him off at graduation.. Go me!!
6. He still reads my poems and shit that i post on MySpace...akward and even though that may sound stupid to you it means something to me.

And I want my friend back so i wrote in alittle blog posting that

Don’t let reading my blog every other Saturday night right before Midnight when my blog views switch over for the week be the only way you stay in touch with me friend. We lose to many good people that way.


You know what to do.


and i gave him my number to. So hopefully that wil all be taken care of... Hopefully

I'm heading to the gym tonight with Brittany and then probably head to the cafe with her too. I owe the treadmill two miles instead of one. I don't have anything to do for hour and a half and knowing Brittany she'll be late . Got to love her tho.

Well I'm out! Going to clean my closet

TA TA

oOOOO before i forget check out the song my number by Tegan and Sara very very fitting for my situation

Setting up Sunday is a ridiculously beautiful song by Meg and Dia. I got to see them this summer on Warped Tour sadly they only played songs from their new album black wedding. I'm all done with my one homework assignment for the weekend and all my laundry is pretty much done and folded save for the two towels in the drier.
I painted my toes red!! Its been awhile for that, but i just felt like being a little extra feminine today. I saw that of course wearing my sweats and a gray t-shirt that 2 sizes to big that I usually head to the gym in. And of course my hair is extra beautiful in a thick black headband pulled almost completely off my head. Ohh i sure clean up well don't I?
Hm I believe that I will go take a shower and stop being a skank now.

Ta Ta

Hmm quick question to everyone. What would you do if you found out someone wrote a song about you. Not a flattering song about how beautiful you are but just a song that tells you how they really feel. How much they miss you and how much they hate you for leaving them?


Anyway on to my post. My mom bought me twp vintage coach purses. One brown and another black. They black one came on Thursday and the brown one should be on its way soon. I'm very spoiled I think and my best friend thinks too. I'm the baby of the family so in my head I guess I'm just used to it. My mom said it was because i've been doing so good in college so far and because ill probably make the deans list this semester.
I'm listening to a really great song The M.A.N.N by Weatherbox its pretty awesome i think. I'm always trying to find something new to listen to because im very particular to the kinds of bands that I listen to.

I don't really know what to post about anymore... I'm not really good at this.

I'm trying to put myself out there again with guys. I have to grow up and actually be in a relationship with a man at some point. I guess I've never thought I was actually right for a real relationship involving dates and relationship status changes and all of that trivial bull shit.

Hm I finished my research paper!!! Hopefully I got an A on it. Comp is my only B and I would love, love, love to get the Deans list this semester. My Dad Called me last night and told me how proud of me he is. He's never actually said anything like that to me. I cried when i got off the phone with him. I'm really glad that being in college is changing my parents view of me. Especially now that I tutor.

Well I'm off to watch golden girls and do laundry

TA TA

 Have  you ever felt that the whole world was watching you? That's how i feel right now. Invasions of privacy have never been something that I am  in too but now more than ever after almost a year of heart ache and utter bull shit. I just can't find it in myself to care about any body like I did or to write about any body like i did him.
   He still reads my blogs and he references me to people. Why exactly would someone still pay attention to the things you do after they break your heart very publicly and yeah. Why would they do that for? Why would they still care? He once told me to " Please stick around" maybe he really wanted me to and maybe he thought I told him to stick around too. Because we aren't done with each other and maybe until the next time we talk we'll never been done with each other.

 I'm sure you all know the amazing feeling of having all of your assignments done on time and done well. Oh but its amazing and I need to fill you all in on that.
 
New Developments

I finally have a campus job. I'm a tutor for student services I tutor literature and american history!! Whoo those A.P tests finally came in handy. The most amazing thing is that I make $9 an hour. Which is really needed since i have a huge balance on my credit card to pay off.

I found out that Tristan still reads my blog. Crazy i know its almost been a year and he still reads it and we dont even talk. I was so close to never looking at his page again or anything but i counted my views and the only person who ever reads my blog read it today so he read Saturday night right before my view change over for the week. I don't care anymore or that's how i should feel. I just wonder if his girlfriend knows. I doubt she does.  The whole "  Oh sweetie remember that girl who was in love with me for 3 years and wrote all of those poems about me and was completely heart broken and walked around in sweat pants for 3 months until she finally got over me. And remember how I got jealous of her and some guy she supposedly hooked up with? Ya well i still read her blog and stalk her My space every once and awhile." So yeah I don't think she knows.

Oh these will be completely materialistic developments

MY Elf came !! Woo and i look really damn good in the stuff. Especially with the new makeup brushes and stuff they really let my make up go on smoothly.

I wore my afro out last night to go see my high schools production of Get Smart. It felt really great to have my hair down and all curly and not have it up in bobby pins or anything.

Well yes that's my life for right now.

TA TA DARLINGS

I should be working more on revising my paper and working on my power point presentation for comp, but I just had this amazing thought into my head that I hadn't watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is awhile. It's probably my favorite musical besides Hello Dolly. I only need to do 2 more slides for my presentation anyway. It's only 12 in the afternoon here anyway.
     I'm home for the weekend so me and my friend Brittney are going to go see my high schools fall play. It's based on an episode of Get Smart. So that shall be fun.

Have a good weekend everybody!! 

    I haven't updated in awhile. I'm back at my mothers for the weekend  just trying to get caught up in my assignments. I have a research paper due in two weeks. Ehh and im falling behind because I'm updating and of course watching episodes of Big Bang theory.

 Morning all!!  Before I start rambling on I got my ELF order yesterday!! I'm so happy and in love with it. My favorite item would have to be the all over color stick. I can't live with out some type of blush or bronzer on my face. Well anyway i'm off to get ready for the football game here in a sec.
TATA

 My feet are so black and blue and so are you.

          What an interesting day I had. Lots of time with my best friend of course. I have two sick roommates so I took it upon myself to bleach everything that everyone touches on a daily basis. I'm a little sad though one of  my favorite bands is having a concert tonight and I'm not able to attend. It sucks, thats where my post title came from. It's a Say Anything song called Woe. It's becoming one of my favorite songs now. Just not as close to my all time favorite song What Sarah said by Death Cab for cutie.I should be catching up on my reading for western civ. But I don't have the will power and I want to watch episodes of Golden Girls online.I have plenty of time over the weekend to read it anyway and on Sunday night when I go back to the dorms. 
 Hm I don't know what else to say. I'm thinking about buying the Tegan nolan shoes for Macbeth they're pretty rad.
They're on sale too! I can't beat that. Me and Cat are going to head out tomorrow for some sub way and a little window shopping. P.S my elf makeup should be hear on Saturday!! I can't wait to pick it up on Monday after my finale. I have some serious issues with makeup.. Believe me my mother is the same way. My sister however is completely different than the both of us. I need to take some pictures of my dorm room for you guys. I think im finally happy with the way I have things set up. I think ill do that in the next post. 

I was in love. Almost exactly to this day last year I was in love with someone. Fast forward to now. We dont talk, we don"t see each other. Those would be the lines from the song he wrote about me. It's crazy to think a year has brought him to the point that I was at so long ago.
 Well enough about that I have a paper to write and a math assignment to get done and a shit load of reading to catch up on. I shall be highlighting my western civ and government books all night.
  TA TA for now ;D

 Well i should be working on mt Book review for western Civ. I choose Catherine of Aragon by Garrett Matingly. I really enjoyed the book. Lot's of insight into the poor Spanish Princesses life.
                                                                                         Well I'm out to do some homework bye bye.

The long awaited pictures of dorky looking me with my glasses on...

I have to write this out. If i don't i'll be an old woman living in shoe. Hopefully an expensive high rise shoe, but a shoe no less. I was in love so very very in love, and my words can't even describe it and no one could understand it. Here are the lyrics to only one by Yellow Card i song i know he posted about me.
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

And here in my opinion is what it is about.

It's about a boy who didn’t understand that one of his friends was in love with him. She's shy and quite and doesn’t quite understand the complexities of batting ones eye lashes and sticking out their chests. So this girl did something artistic and crazy because she loved him. She loved him and she was afraid to tell him, afraid to tell him because he might actually care about her a little more than a friend should. And even though she cared about him and wanted him she couldn’t handle having him in that capacity. Because what would have happened if that capacity had been filled would lend to her being happy and not alone. Not alone in the sense that she would have to grow up and become someone's somebody, but not alone in her beliefs in love. And it fucks up every bodies beliefs in love. Not alone in her mutual understanding of lyrics and passion. Not physical passion but passion personified.  That’s what those lyrics mean, and the melody behind sounds like two people who are so far apart but always brought back together by a work of art.

       What a day. You know that feeling you get when you accomplish everything you wanted to accomplish in a day? On time no bull shit and limited procrastination? Well that happened to me today. Last night I caught myself on math assignments ( which is really good because i have test tomorrow) and I wrote not one but two discussion papers for my American National Government class and I wrote my reader response for Comp early too. So today in class when everyone was complaining about not having enough time to get all their work done. I just sat there and smiled.
 Today was just a nice day all together. I can't complain about any of it. I started working on my schedule for next semester too today. I'm going to take 20 hours next semester, sounds crazy i know but i can handle it. I have 18 now and its a breeze, so hopefully 20 hours wont be too much of a change. Next semester I want to take Modern Asian history, Criminology, Math for liberal arts, Introductory to Biology, and Social Psychology. I have another class i need to find and then i should have close to twenty.
 You know actually i do have something to complain about. Our dorm room is freezing!! It's 66 degrees in here and it's like 35 degrees outside.It's awful. I'm writing all of this wearing my big bulky Michigan Sweatshirt and comfy suede boots under all of my blankets in my bed. Sadly I'm worse off because i choose the bed by the window. I thought it was a good idea at first but I'm slowly realizing my bad choice. Me and two of my roommates are going to head out to the shopping center here in town tomorrow night for groceries and roommate bonding too i think. My glasses look really nice on me i think. Compared to my blue ones, the make me look more mature which is what i wanted.
 OOOh my Eyeslipsandface order finally shipped today!!! I'm excited for that  to come in the mail. I had it sent here to the college.

I'm not good at being social with people i cant stand. Is that a bad thing? I'm not good at being fake or just forgetting what a douche bag a person really is. I hope I don't sound angry. That's the furthest thing from my mind. Actually i'm quite a happy person i like to meet new people but i don't like jerks, assholes, and especially I cant stand sarcastic, fake, depressed college boys who sit in their dorm rooms and laugh and ska on former classmates statuses on Facebook. No one gives a damn, I'm human and a nice human at that. I'm not annoying or overzealous I like the things I like and I don't pretend to care about what anybody else thinks. ... Okay that was my rant.
    College is great. I'm currently home for the weekend and being spoiled rotten because of such, You got to love those care packages!!! Anyway I'm getting new glasses on Monday! I choose something that makes me look more mature and not as ... alternative  or something. I shall post pictures so everyone can see what i mean. I've been really good with getting my assignments done a week early at the latest. See all, I'm growing up and maturing and all of that bull shit!!
 I went shopping on Friday with my best friend cat. Bought myself a new purse and some comfy suede boots and some makeup and lots of sunny D for my dorm room. Oh and i just ordered a ton of makeup from Eyes lips and face.com. For any of you who don't know what I'm talking about its probably the best make up out there and most of the products only cost a dollar a piece. Amazing stuff i bought blush, eyeliner, a set of 5 lip glosses and another separate one and some fancy chap stick. All for ten bucks and some shipping cost!! Its not cheap crap either it really is high quality. I don't know what else to say. L.o.l. i bought PJ's too and some cute panties!! I love random shopping sprees especially with my best friend.
   Lets see what else is new with me... Well i had a little spa day for myself, broke out the sally Hansen's facial hair remover... l.o.l its normal I'm told. Did a sugar scrub after that and then looked for a birthday gift for cat for her birthday. ( I wanted an extra special gift for her since she made  my birthday amazing this year) I took a shower and used our fancy spin spa thing. Its good to have a mother who is addicted to at home spa treatments  makes for fun weekends :) Hmm what else to say. My favorite band is coming out with a new c.d maybe some of you have heard of them: Say Anything? Not the movie the band ,but they did get their name from that amazing movie with John Cusack.
Yeah i don't know what else to say .... Good night all

I haven't posted in a very long time. I graduated and now I'm halfway through my first semester in college! I love college well this college anyways I have 4 other roommates in my dorm with me. It's apartment style and very nice here so don't worry. My parents come and visit some time and they stock up my cabinets with chips and stuff. It feels so weird that I haven't posted in so long. I spent the summer in Nashville with my sister and her family. Lot and lots of memories there with my nephew and our trip to Florida. I have so much to catch up on and I really need to start posting again, but I'm taking 18 hours this semester and all so i barely have time for anything else and then i start tutoring at some point too.

. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will post the answers to the questions (and the questions themselves) on your blog or journal.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And thus the endless cycle of the meme goes on and on and on and on

1. What do you regret doing most in your life? The one thing i regret most in my life would be.. not being as vocal as I am now in school. I was really shy and quiet for a long long time and I wish more people could have seen that side of me then the manda who never has a smile on her face.
2. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?  The most amazing place to live I think would be in a alittle cottage in the english country side.
3. What is something/someone popular that you think is really overrated?  I think the twilight series is ridiculously overrated !!
4. If you had to play one song on repeat forever, what would it be?    OOOOOOHH super hard question it would either be Caves by Jack's Mannequin or Color blind by say anything. Both of which are my favorite bands
5. What was the best year/years of your life?-  I think 2008 was the best year of my life even tho i got my heart broken beyond compare. Lol but it changed me for sure.